But then, when it came to it, at the end of the fabulous afternoon of learning to ski round poles, with Chloé, I didn’t have the control I thought I was going to have. We arrived back in the resort all together and Chloé manoeuvred me slightly away from the others:“What are you doing now?” she asked, “after your shower or this evening?”It was intimate. Heading for more intimacy. Her face was close to mine. She was magnetic, gorgeous, charismatic, fun ... Christ. If we weren’t in public we’d be touching? Kissing even? Then in an instant our clothes would be coming off and she’d see IT. An engorged, massive sausage that didn’t belong on a girl...I panicked.“Oh, I ... I don’t know, Chloé, I’m so sorry, I’ll see you ... tomorrow,” I blurted, and I fled; ignominiously, stupidly and rejectively.I rushed back and into my room on the verge of tears. Why couldn’t I just SAY: “Chloé, look I have a giant clit, I’m embarrassed about it but what do you think?”It would be so simple, wouldn’t it?. The catfish farm was remote, so it wasn't likely that anyone saw what happened.My guess was anything of value in the way of evidence burned in the fire. If Lisa and Robert kept their cool, we should all be good. If one of them got a case of remorse, we could all be screwed. I thought that Lisa was the weak link. Actually I didn't feel comfortable with either of them holding my fate in their hands. Could I kill them both just to save my ass, without a doubt.I told you all along I am, if not a psychopath, at least a sociopath. I have very little remorse and my self preservation instinct is very strong. So yeah I could kill them both. The problem was that one clean murder was very hard to pull off, three was impossible. So even if it were preferable it was not feasible.I would have made a better plan if I was going to kill Sam, but I did the best I could with what I had at the time.Worst case, Robert had told someone he planned to kill Sam, if his wife was indeed fucking her father..
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